When I sat down to write my talk (yes, I write my talks), I tried to think of something dramatic I could share. You know, the sort of thing like "I was going to take a flight, but was impressed not to go, and the plane exploded midair or something." Don't get me wrong. I know those things do happen, but I couldn't think of anything like that.
I prayed for help and was impressed with the thought "How Hasn't Revelation Influenced My Life!" Then a stream of memories opened up, and I wrote them down and that became my talk. So here are some examples-among so many I wasn't able to recall or write them all-of how inspiration and revelation has influenced my life.
My Mother taught me that God is there, that He listens, and
that he speaks to us through The Holy Ghost. And she sealed that testimony many
times with her own example and personal experiences.
I remember her telling me of one (of many) experiences she
had when I was about eight.
My little brother Andrew was still a baby in the
crawling stage, and while Mom was doing dishes she heard a voice say urgently,
“Where is Andrew?” She looked around and found the baby gate blocking off our
back porch open. The porch led outside to the backyard but also down to the basement. She
quickly acted and found my little brother sitting atop the flight of steep
stone stairs, leaning forward to grab something on a stair below him. She
caught him just before he could topple down the basement stairs—a fall that could easily
have injured or killed a baby.
I remember feeling the peace, light, and happiness of The
Spirit shortly after I was baptized.
I remember feeling its sobering clarity
when I was nine, and my stepfather was explaining to me the difference between
the Law of Moses and the Higher Law of The Gospel.
I remember feeling inspired
enthusiasm as I clumsily tried to share the Gospel with a friend at school in
the fifth grade.
I also remember a period in my young life when I didn’t
enjoy much of the Spirit. I am sure it was no coincidence that it came just as
I started adolescence and received the Aaronic Priesthood. I remember the darkness, the depression, the
caring only for things of the world. I remember the selfishness, and the
loneliness. I prayed, and I could sense God, but I was not close to him.
I remember reading the Book of Mormon entirely through for
the first time, and feeling its power and accompany call of the Holy Ghost to live a better life.
I
remember gradual, but definite change in my life as I exercised faith to expose
myself more frequently to the influence of The Spirit.
I remember going to the Temple for the first time to
participate in Baptisms for the dead, and the peaceful, and special feeling as
I walked through the baptistery. It was a feeling that was both new and
familiar. It felt like a home I had forgotten.
I remember dozens of false starts to live a better life,
each accompanied by the agony of failure, but always soothed by a gentle loving voice that whispered to try again.
I remember being a young man of only seventeen and meeting
the girl that I knew I wanted to marry. I believe this was an inspired love as
it woke within me a dormant desire to have a family of my own and brought about
dramatic changes in me that surprised friends, family, and my church leaders.
I remember visiting Temple square, the Joseph Smith Memorial
building and feeling again that familiar peace and power that tasted so much of
a home I once knew.
I remember
reading the four Gospels for the first time, and feeling such a potent power in
the accounts of the life of Christ.
I remember reading Jesus the Christ, and feeling the
overwhelming and absolute certainty that Jesus was THE CHRIST, and that He was
my Savior. That He lived. He really lived and still lived. I remember feeling
urgently that I had to share my witness with others.
I remember taking the ludicrous step of applying to serve a
mission, even though I believed I couldn’t do it on account of mental illness. I remember the joy in
learning that I could, and the happiness and light and Divine approval of my
desire to share the Gospel.
I remember the night I was set apart as a missionary, and the fire that suddenly burned inside my chest and seemed to suffused my entire body. It lingered with me, perhaps most of my mission.
.I remember
the quiet approval of The Spirit as I walked streets in a faraway city, and the
joy of testifying of what I knew.
I remember witnessing the reality that The
Lord does His own work, guiding missionaries and investigators into meetings
that were never coincidence. I remember a little girl asking for one of my Book
of Mormon pass-a-long cards, and then running back to her friends loudly
proclaiming “Look, it’s a book from God!”
I remember being prompted to tract a lonely street and
running into a inactive sixteen-year-old who’s father had recently died, and
he was looking for answers.
I remember more light and knowledge pouring into my mind
than I could handle, and rushing back to my apartment and spending our lunch
break furiously scribbling in my journal as much as I could remember.
I
remember sobbing like a baby when Section 135 of the Doctrine and Covenants
became more to me than just important words on a page. I remember getting to
know brother Joseph in a way that I still feel like I knew him personally.
I remember the power that came each time I recited The
Prophet’s account of the First Vision. The personal witnesses that came while watching conference that leaders local and
general were called of God.
I remember inspired dreams that offered me guidance when I
was low. I remember being comforted although I had failed to finish my mission.
I remember the quiet, but constant encouragement to keep going, keep trying, and
promising that I could be better - I could succeed.
I remember being reunited with the love of my life, and
realizing that all my prayers and fasting that we'd marry when we dated the first time had not been for
naught, even though we had long since parted and gone our separate ways.
I
remember getting dressed after an Endowment Session in the Temple and knowing
that I should marry Christina. I remember seeing her in the Celestial Room, dressed in her
temple clothes and being overwhelmed by the joy and sheer rightness of the moment.
I remember holding my firstborn son in my arms, alone in his
room and thinking that I had to make it back to Heavenly Father so I could be with my son
forever.
I remember giving my beloved Grandmother a blessing and
learning in that blessing that she would pass away soon, although she was young
and had no terminal conditions. I didn’t believe it, but a year later she was gone suddenly.
I remember meeting my twins, and the inspired joy that it brought.
I remember another period of darkness in which the adversary
very nearly succeeded in destroying me, a descent into a three year valley of sorry before which the Lord whispered to
mind that He would never give up on me.
I remember looking at the face of my newborn Benjamin and
suddenly waking up to the things of The Spirit. It wasn’t subtle, but a
powerful blast of light from The Holy Ghost reminding me of what was truly
important.
I remember moments of wisdom that far exceeded my talents
and abilities.
I remember words given to me in the very moment that I needed
them and didn’t know what to say.
I remember discerning hearts and situations
and knowing things that I could have only known by inspiration.
I remember
rebukes, and corrections, often stopping me mid-sentence when I’m saying
something hurtful or stupid or untrue.
I remember instruction for how to be a
parent when I am at a loss. I remember miraculously knowing the needs of my
children.
I remember comforts, and promptings too numerous to list.
And in fact, most I don’t readily remember. But God has truly been with me my
entire life through The Holy Ghost which truly is a comforter. He has guided and blessed
me, warned me, and inspired joy within me that I could never feel on my own.
It felt appropriate to close my remarks with the following scripture:
"Do ye not suppose that I know of
these things myself? Behold, I testify unto you that I do know that these
things whereof I have spoken are true. And how do ye suppose that I know of
their surety?
Behold, I say unto you they are
made known unto
me by the Holy Spirit of God."
- Alma 5: 45-46
