A War of Words

So if you're on social media this week at all, then you've probably seen the angry comments, the re-posts, and the memes about the flare up of the abortion debate. I usually try to not publish my opinions on such matters, at least on social media, because it's pointless to argue online. You're not going to change anyone's mind, at least not unless the discourse is civil, which on the internet it usually isn't. That being said, I do feel the need to stand up for what I believe is right, moral, and true.

I wholeheartedly accept and support this quote from President Nelson. The child forming in a woman's womb has it's own unique DNA, and very quickly it's own heartbeat. It is not part of the mother's body. Therefore with the comparatively rare exception of incest, rape, or preserving the life of the mother (all situations that still require a great deal of prayer and soul searching before terminating the pregnancy) destroying the life of an unborn child is evil.

I am not judging the women who have or will have an abortion. I know no woman comes to that decision lightly, or at least I hope none do. But I do judge the act, and condemn it. To me it's clear. Some things are just wrong. And I think I have a responsibility to stand up for what I believe and a right to do so without being accused of trying to control, repress, or silence women. Anyone who knows me knows that's not who I am.

I also am not really taking a position on laws being passed in other states. The legality and political maneuvering involved in this fight is extremely complex and I admit, I don't know and understand all the factors (that's not an invitation to educate me, please).

Perhaps posting this is just foolish and inflammatory. I know I won't convince anyone to join the pro-life position if they are already opposed to it. And I may lose some Facebook connections. But I felt that I needed to go on record as one who believes that abortion is never a good thing. At best it's a necessary evil, but usually it's just evil. 

"I Will Not Yield!"

***NERD TRIGGER WARNING*** this post is super-geeky. More so than my usual posts, but I'm very much a science fiction, and fantasy geek, so....

God teaches us through The Holy Ghost in ways customized to perfectly fit our understanding. With me, He often points out spiritual parallels in fictional books, stories, and even video games.

I love Star Trek Deep Space Nine and watched it religiously (heh, see what I did there?) when it was on the air. During a particularly difficult time in my young adult life, when I was struggling to overcome some addictive behaviors, The Lord used this scene from DS9 to help me better understand what he expected of me - (starts at 1:17):




"I WILL NOT YIELD!" I love the conviction in Worf's voice. He is bloody, beaten, and if he continues to fight, he is certain to die, but, he just won't give up! At seeing this, the Jem'hadar champion yields because he knows he can't break Worf's spirit. Likewise, one day (be it sooner or later) when The Lord "finds that [we] are determined to serve Him at all hazards," we will be given the victory.

To take the metaphor a little further, General Martok could be like our well-meaning but mistaken friends, family, or even therapists who preach Korihor's destructive doctrine:

"Ye look forward and say that ye see a remission of your sins. But behold, it is the effect of a frenzied mind; and this derangement of your minds comes because of the traditions of your fathers, which lead you away into a belief of things which are not so.

- Book of Mormon, Alma 30:16

The bottom line is, and I know this to be true experientially, our part in this Earth life is to do the very best we can and never stop repenting. Even if we fall a 1000 times, we win if we get up 1,001, all because of what Christ's Atonement does for us. And that's what gives me the hope that even someone like me can make it. Because I have a witness from The Holy Spirit that The Restored Gospel is true, Christ lives, and His Grace is sufficient for me,

I will not yield.     

God Tricked Me!

So, the other day I was looking for my Temple recommend. Apparently I had misplaced it, and that's unusual for me because I've always been careful where I stored it. I started to panic, and play out in my mind the long process I'd have to go through to get a new one. I prayed desperately that I could find it, and promised God that if he'd help me, I'd take going to the Temple more seriously as I haven't been going very often the past couple of years. Even before I could end my mental prayer, I found it. In a place I swear I'd looked before. Needless to say I went to the Temple a couple days later, and made a goal to go more often.Well played, Lord. Well played. 

Joseph Smith is my friend

Today is The Prophet’s birthday, and so I wanted to share my thoughts about Joseph Smith, and why he is such an important figure in my life. I grew up in the Church, and so was taught from childhood that Joseph was a prophet. I believed it, and never really doubted that fact. But while I was serving as an LDS Missionary in North Carolina, I found myself having to defend him all the time from clever attacks by sincere people of other faiths. This didn’t cause me any testimony crisis, but it did make me want to know more about The Prophet (probably in part so I could argue back, which just demonstrates my then immaturity). I read books on Joseph Smith, and commenced a new study of the Doctrine and Covenants. The result was a personal witness from The Holy Ghost that Joseph Smith was God’s instrument in restoring to mankind sacred truths that had been lost, and Priesthood keys I needed turned for me to fully access the power of Christ’s Atoning Sacrifice. But it was even more than that. I came to feel like I knew The Prophet personally, and he became to me a friend as real as anyone who I’d known in my life. A milestone moment in this was when I read about his martyrdom. I’d read Doctrine and Covenants 135 (the account of Joseph and Hyrum’s murder in Carthage Illinois) several times, but this time it became so real to me that I wept. Not a few leaky tears, but racking sobs as real as anything I’ve cried for loved ones who’ve passed away. A bit of that comes back anytime I think, read, or watch something about his death. These poignant feelings aren’t grief, but a moving gratitude to God for what he accomplished through Joseph Smith and an appreciation for a man that I know was honest, good, and courageous. He was a prophet and a true servant of Jesus Christ. His remarkable life and message deserve serious consideration by anyone interested in the truth. I end this post with one of my favorite stories from Joseph’s life, a story that speaks to his true character.

A woman named Mary Frost Adams tells us what happened:

"While he was acting as mayor of the city, a colored man named Anthony was arrested for selling liquor on Sunday, contrary to law. He pleaded that the reason he had done so was that he might raise the money to purchase the freedom of a dear child held as a slave in a Southern State. He had been able to purchase the liberty of himself and his wife and now wished to bring his little child to their new home. Joseph said, 'I am sorry, Anthony, but the law must be observed, and we will have to impose a fine.'

The next day Brother Joseph presented Anthony with a fine horse, directing him to sell it, and use the money obtained for the purchase of the child." (Young Women's Journal, p.538)

The horse was Joseph's prized white stallion, and was worth about $500; a huge sum at the time. With the money from the sale, Anthony was able to purchase his child out of slavery.
http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/history/blacks/index.html

Mr. Miyagi on Ether 12:6

I like to find examples in my favorite movies and books that illustrate gospel principles. I think it's because I had a teacher who did this in Seminary with Star Wars, and it's always stayed with me. Of course this is no substitute for the scriptures or words of living prophets, but I think it's fun and an effective teaching aid. So here's a clip from The Karate Kid that I think is a great illustration of  Ether 12: 6

"And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."

(Warning, there is swearing. But if you didn't know that, because you've never seen the Karate Kid, then I'm not sure we should be friends).  



Often we're asked to do things (or not do things) by our Heavenly Father and his authorized servants that we don't understand or disagree with. We can't see how abstaining from coffee and tea effects our spirituality, or maybe it's something odd from church history that we can't reconcile with modern policy, or maybe its even disagreeing with the church's stance on same-sex marriage. Whatever it is, we often expect God to prove to us FIRST the "why's" and "what-for's" of His will and commandments.

But that's not the way God works. It's never been the way He's worked in His dealings with His mortal children. We chose to come to Him in order to learn what is needed for peace in this world and salvation in the next, and we do it on His terms, not ours. We've come to Him to be trained in the ways of Eternal Life, and He will teach us in His way, and that may not always square with our limited understanding and short-sided expectations.

Like Daniel, we are learning line upon line, and one day it will all come together and we'll finally get it.

Ether 12: 6  ...dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.

Revelation In My Life

I hesitated whether to share this as it is unusually personal, but it's from a talk I gave in Sacrament Meeting a few weeks ago, so I guess it's already out there. The topic I was assigned was "How Has Inspiration and Revelation Influenced My Life?" 

When I sat down to write my talk (yes, I write my talks), I tried to think of something dramatic I could share. You know, the sort of thing like "I was going to take a flight, but was impressed not to go, and the plane exploded midair or something." Don't get me wrong. I know those things do happen, but I couldn't think of anything like that. 

I prayed for help and was impressed with the thought "How Hasn't Revelation Influenced My Life!" Then a stream of memories opened up, and I wrote them down and that became my talk. So here are some examples-among so many I wasn't able to recall or write them all-of how inspiration and revelation has influenced my life. 

My Mother taught me that God is there, that He listens, and that he speaks to us through The Holy Ghost. And she sealed that testimony many times with her own example and personal experiences.

I remember her telling me of one (of many) experiences she had when I was about eight. 

My little brother Andrew was still a baby in the crawling stage, and while Mom was doing dishes she heard a voice say urgently, “Where is Andrew?” She looked around and found the baby gate blocking off our back porch open. The porch led outside to the backyard but also down to the basement. She quickly acted and found my little brother sitting atop the flight of steep stone stairs, leaning forward to grab something on a stair below him. She caught him just before he could topple down the basement stairs—a fall that could easily have injured or killed a baby.

I remember feeling the peace, light, and happiness of The Spirit shortly after I was baptized.

I remember feeling its sobering clarity when I was nine, and my stepfather was explaining to me the difference between the Law of Moses and the Higher Law of The Gospel. 

I remember feeling inspired enthusiasm as I clumsily tried to share the Gospel with a friend at school in the fifth grade.

I also remember a period in my young life when I didn’t enjoy much of the Spirit. I am sure it was no coincidence that it came just as I started adolescence and received the Aaronic Priesthood.  I remember the darkness, the depression, the caring only for things of the world. I remember the selfishness, and the loneliness. I prayed, and I could sense God, but I was not close to him.

I remember reading the Book of Mormon entirely through for the first time, and feeling its power and accompany call of the Holy Ghost to live a better life. 

I remember gradual, but definite change in my life as I exercised faith to expose myself more frequently to the influence of The Spirit.

I remember going to the Temple for the first time to participate in Baptisms for the dead, and the peaceful, and special feeling as I walked through the baptistery. It was a feeling that was both new and familiar. It felt like a home I had forgotten.

I remember dozens of false starts to live a better life, each accompanied by the agony of failure, but always soothed by a gentle loving voice that whispered to try again.

I remember being a young man of only seventeen and meeting the girl that I knew I wanted to marry. I believe this was an inspired love as it woke within me a dormant desire to have a family of my own and brought about dramatic changes in me that surprised friends, family, and my church leaders.

I remember visiting Temple square, the Joseph Smith Memorial building and feeling again that familiar peace and power that tasted so much of a home I once knew.

I remember reading the four Gospels for the first time, and feeling such a potent power in the accounts of the life of Christ. 

I remember reading Jesus the Christ, and feeling the overwhelming and absolute certainty that Jesus was THE CHRIST, and that He was my Savior. That He lived. He really lived and still lived. I remember feeling urgently that I had to share my witness with others.

I remember taking the ludicrous step of applying to serve a mission, even though I believed I couldn’t do it on account of mental illness. I remember the joy in learning that I could, and the happiness and light and Divine approval of my desire to share the Gospel.

I remember the night I was set apart as a missionary, and the fire that suddenly burned inside my chest and seemed to suffused my entire body. It lingered with me, perhaps most of my mission.

.I remember the quiet approval of The Spirit as I walked streets in a faraway city, and the joy of testifying of what I knew. 

I remember witnessing the reality that The Lord does His own work, guiding missionaries and investigators into meetings that were never coincidence. I remember a little girl asking for one of my Book of Mormon pass-a-long cards, and then running back to her friends loudly proclaiming “Look, it’s a book from God!”

I remember being prompted to tract a lonely street and running into a inactive sixteen-year-old who’s father had recently died, and he was looking for answers. 

I remember more light and knowledge pouring into my mind than I could handle, and rushing back to my apartment and spending our lunch break furiously scribbling in my journal as much as I could remember. 

I remember sobbing like a baby when Section 135 of the Doctrine and Covenants became more to me than just important words on a page. I remember getting to know brother Joseph in a way that I still feel like I knew him personally.

I remember the power that came each time I recited The Prophet’s account of the First Vision. The personal witnesses that came while watching conference that leaders local and general were called of God.

I remember inspired dreams that offered me guidance when I was low. I remember being comforted although I had failed to finish my mission. I remember the quiet, but constant encouragement to keep going, keep trying, and promising that I could be better - I could succeed.

  

I remember being reunited with the love of my life, and realizing that all my prayers and fasting that we'd marry when we dated the first time had not been for naught, even though we had long since parted and gone our separate ways. 

I remember getting dressed after an Endowment Session in the Temple and knowing that I should marry Christina. I remember seeing her in the Celestial Room, dressed in her temple clothes and being overwhelmed by the joy and sheer rightness of the moment.

I remember holding my firstborn son in my arms, alone in his room and thinking that I had to make it back to Heavenly Father so I could be with my son forever.

I remember giving my beloved Grandmother a blessing and learning in that blessing that she would pass away soon, although she was young and had no terminal conditions. I didn’t believe it, but a year later she was gone suddenly.

I remember meeting my twins, and the inspired joy that it brought.

I remember another period of darkness in which the adversary very nearly succeeded in destroying me, a descent into a three year valley of sorry before which the Lord whispered to mind that He would never give up on me.

I remember looking at the face of my newborn Benjamin and suddenly waking up to the things of The Spirit. It wasn’t subtle, but a powerful blast of light from The Holy Ghost reminding me of what was truly important.

I remember moments of wisdom that far exceeded my talents and abilities. 

I remember words given to me in the very moment that I needed them and didn’t know what to say. 

I remember discerning hearts and situations and knowing things that I could have only known by inspiration. 

I remember rebukes, and corrections, often stopping me mid-sentence when I’m saying something hurtful or stupid or untrue. 

I remember instruction for how to be a parent when I am at a loss. I remember miraculously knowing the needs of my children.

I remember comforts, and promptings too numerous to list. And in fact, most I don’t readily remember. But God has truly been with me my entire life through The Holy Ghost which truly is a comforter. He has guided and blessed me, warned me, and inspired joy within me that I could never feel on my own.

It felt appropriate to close my remarks with the following scripture:

 "Do ye not suppose that I know of these things myself? Behold, I testify unto you that I do know that these things whereof I have spoken are true. And how do ye suppose that I know of their surety?

Behold, I say unto you they are made known unto me by the Holy Spirit of God."

- Alma 5: 45-46

Abrahamic Tests

Most of us have probably heard or read this passage from the Doctrine and Covenants section 101:

 4 Therefore, they must needs be chastened and tried, even as Abraham, who was commanded to offer up his only son.

or this quote from the Prophet:

"You will have all kinds of trials to pass through. And it is quite as necessary for you to be tried as it was for Abraham and other men of God, and (said he) God will feel after you, and He will take hold of you and wrench your very heart strings, and if you cannot stand it you will not be fit for an inheritance in the Celestial Kingdom of God."

This always makes me think of horrible end-of-the-world cataclysms, or the more common, but equally earth shattering tragedies of losing a job, one's health, or a loved one to estrangement or death. And of course, those apply. But I'm beginning to understand that Abrahamic trials are specifically those afflictions that strike at our most vulnerable spots, that exploit our greatest weaknesses, and serve up seemingly impossible to solve problems. Things like personal prejudices, or dearly held but false family or cultural traditions that interfere with keeping the commandments, or deep disagreements with Church leaders, or offenses that come from trusted members who commit heinous crimes, or persecution and bullying from within our own ward family. Or any number of unfair, confusing, and painful challenges.  

Perhaps at the top of this endless list are problems like addiction, abuse, same gender attraction, and mental illness. 

I'm not trying to demean any one's pain by lumping it in with the whole "this life is a test" answer we sometimes get from well-meaning but insensitive friends and family. Most of us understand this already, and I'm pretty sure that phrase would've done little to relieve Father Abraham's turmoil as he led his beloved son up mount Moriah to be sacrificed by his own hand. 

This test struck at Abraham's very core. Remember, his own father tried to murder him by having Abraham sacrificed to false gods. I don't know that he ever said this, but one can imagine him swearing he'd never do that to his children. 

The courage and grandeur in Abraham's obedience comes in his willingness to obey divine direction even when, no especially when, he didn't understand why he was commanded to do such a difficult and contradicting thing. Hadn't God promised an infinite posterity through Isaac? Hadn't God worked a miracle to bring about the son's birth? Why kill him? How did that fit in with all the promises and prophecies? From Abraham's point of view it must've seemed a clear contradiction of what he'd learned from and about God. 

Yet he was willing to do it in spite of all his confusion, questions, and possibly even some feeling of betrayal. Abraham trusted that God would still somehow fulfill His promises, and make things right, even if it required another miracle to do so.

In the end, is it really so surprising that God would permit trials in our lives that hacked at the very foundation of our faith in Him? I see it as part of the program. Even the Savior's suffering was beyond what he'd expected. We all love stories both true and fictional of heroes who face their worst nightmares and come out on top. Isn't this exactly what we're here for, as frightening as that is?

President Hinckley was very afraid of cancer, and though probably the most faithful man on earth at the time, he eventually got it. We shouldn't be surprised when God makes us face the worst or most difficult part of ourselves or of mortality for it is part of this training program we call mortality. D&C 101: 5 For all those who will not endure chastening, but deny me, cannot be sanctified.

But the answer for how to handle Abrahamic trials comes from Abraham himself. We climb the mountain, do our best to cope with our doubts and pain, and push our unanswered questions to the side as we trust in God and His prophets. That's really the sum of our reason for being here - Will we stay faithful, regardless of what happens to us, inside us, or around us?

Abraham did and his trust in God was validated, and so will ours be. I know it.